Kid: So he told me, ‘God, you’re SO annoying.’ And then I told him, ‘Yeah, well I’d rather be annoying than be like YOU. You won’t be saying that when I’m famous and you’re working at Burger King.’

Me: Burger King?

Kid: Yep. I told him, ‘When I am president of the United States I will make you work at Burger King.’ It’s not a violation of the Constitution to make him work at Burger King.

Me: Burger King is not explicitly named in the Constitution, no, but I don’t think you can force him to work there. There are those little issues of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…

Kid: Then I’ll make sure Burger King is fun.

Me: (laughing)

Kid: And I’ll make sure he earns more. $2.00 a month more, maybe. That should make him happy, too.

Me: Honey…

Kid: What?

Me: I think we’d all be better off if you became a veterinarian when you grow up.

Kid: (after a long pause) Hey, we can put the vet clinic inside Burger King!

Me: Are you craving Burger King or something?

Kid: No. Why do you think that?