While I get the whole idea behind living in a closeknit community, there are a couple of things (perhaps three things?) that I wish you would see from my point of view.

I like that you have monstrously large parties on Saturday nights.  The drunken revelry reminds me so much of my younger days, except I didn’t puke on the begonias as much.  The loud music, the scary movies at max volume, the swearing…none of it really bothers me much but when you light up a joint, OMFG my entire family gets high.  I don’t want to have to call the cops but the next time that smell floats through my windows I’m going to have to.  I’m allergic to the stuff, you see…

It warms my heart to know that you love playing games on your XBox 360.  Personally, I don’t mind the 80’s rock music that pours into my abode through every conceivable opening, even at an hour when my child is trying to get to bed early because - heck - she has to get up early, too!  But playing into the wee hours of the weeknights is, quite honestly, futile.  No matter how loud or how hard you bang on those tap-tap-tappy little drum pads, you and Neal Schon are never gonna gig together.  I happen to know him and he isn’t interested.

The fire lane downstairs, the one that leads to the walkway for both our apartments, is not your guest parking area.  I know you have a lot of friends and they like to come over and hang at your pot parties and play lots of Rock Band, but parking in the fire lane is expressly forbidden.  Why?  I don’t know…has something to do with emergency access to our shared space…silly idea, huh?  The problem is, you’re the only people who do this; I can see it happening if you have a ton of groceries to carry or have a mother who can barely walk, but drunk, high-as-a-kite friends who probably shouldn’t drive after they’ve been at your place for a few hours?  Not so much.  So the next time your guests are parked there, I’m going to call the tow company.  Please don’t take it personally.  I’m a bitch about things like this with everyone I know.

Have a nice day!