Losing someone who means enough to you results in the feeling that you’ve been kicked in the stomach.

I have that feeling today.

I wish I could understand why I feel this. I will inevitably get over it; we learn from an early age that we can feel this and somehow still survive. But this was so life-altering a friendship that I’m sure the pain will not go away any time soon.

Odd as it sounds, I looked forward to our talks, our flirts, our fun…because in this moment in my life where I had needed to “clean house” and restore my heart, mind and soul to its former feistiness, this person was the one who kept me focused and kept me in the right frame of mind. I do not think I will regress because he is more or less gone, but not traveling the road with his constant assurances to “get it going on” is a very disheartening prospect.

Sigh.